Delete These Things from Your Résumé Right Now — Part 1

Ah, now here’s where Writing All Wrong might save you a few days in the unemployment line. Or, if you’re an entitled millennial, it’ll spare you a few days of not having the keys to your dad’s Lexus until you find a job. (Just kidding – he’ll talk to someone at his work and have you hired directly into management).

If you’re not fortunate enough to “know a guy or gal” — then you’ll need a sharp résumé to ticket your way into a job interview.

Paper_shredder_news

“Great candidate!” — Lord Shredd, The Résumé Annihilator™


But instead of getting that interview ticket punched, it’s your face that will be punched if your résumé contains the following:

[Disclaimer: Not just talking out of my rear on this one — my day job involves more hiring decisions than it does writing (*gasp*) – that’s all I’m allowed to disclose.]

Ok, now here’s what to delete:

“Action-oriented” and/or “Goal-oriented”

Both dumfounding and dumb-sounding. Are you somehow giving off the impression that “Nah, bruh, I kinda don’t like action” or “Goals really aren’t my thing?”

It adds nothing – scrap it.

“Dynamic”

Classic mistake of “telling, not showing.” Don’t say it — display it. If you’re a business barnacle with the effervescence of stale tonic, then I’m going to circle “dynamic” in red and recommend a dictionary (or if you know the definition, I’ll recommend a church to help you seek forgiveness for lying).

Show me what you accomplished with all that dynamism, then I might show you a job offer.

Anything after Page 1

You really don’t need this unless you’re a CEO, Director, or other high-level executive—in which case, why are you reading this? Don’t you have a yacht you could be enjoying?

Hiring managers, on average, go through about 72 résumés a minute. Do the math: because I didn’t.

The first page is your first pitch. If it takes two pages to reach home plate, then you’ve already struck out.

Part 2 to follow whenever. 

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